Types of parenting styles and how to choose the best one

types of parenting styles

Written by: Barbra Smith

Published on: Aug 18, 2023

Last updated: Aug 5, 2024

I wonder what you thought the first time you laid eyes on your baby and what parenting style will suit you best.

Bringing up a child these days is more challenging and complex than running for president because it will consume not only a day or two but years of hard work. It will take the best years of your life, but trust me, it is worthy.

Today we are talking about different types of parenting styles in general. We will take a close look at the main definition of each style, and we will discuss the strengths and weaknesses so that you can learn about different parenting styles.

We will also discuss some of the frequently asked questions regarding this topic.

  1. The psychology behind different types of parenting styles
  2. Authoritative parenting style
  3. Authoritarian parenting style
  4. Permissive parenting style
  5. Uninvolved parenting style
  6. Other types of parenting styles
  7. What is the best parenting style?
  8. What if I cannot be an authoritative parent all the time?
  9. How can I learn more about parenting techniques?

The psychology behind different types of parenting styles

Some years ago, a clinical and developmental psychologist called Diana Baumrind categorized 4 types of parenting styles:

  1. authoritative parenting style
  2. authoritarian parenting style
  3. permissive parenting style
  4. neglectful parenting style

Diana has categorized these styles according to two main factors: demandingness and responsiveness.

Demandingness is how parents are more likely to guide or control their kids’ lives.

And responsiveness means how parents love and interact with their children in general.

Also, remember that being born to parents who followed a certain parenting style can have an impact on you as a mother or a father.

Some parents will follow the same style that was applied to them because it had good results and they turned out to be good.

And some other parents will do the opposite because they suffered from something in their childhood and will not allow their kids to have the same experience.

So, knowing the differences between all types of parenting styles will help you expand your knowledge to become a good parent.

Authoritative parenting style:

In this parenting style, kids should expect high responsiveness and demandingness from their parents, as this style shows love, support, protection, and unconditional love toward the kids.

Parents in this style prefer to talk sense and persuade their kids more than give strict orders, and they even have a gentler approach to disciplining than other parenting styles, so authoritative parenting is considered to be the best parenting style for many families.

Children in this style are characterized by the following:

  • Kids will have more self-confidence.
  • Your kids will achieve high academic results.
  • The Kid will be successful in creating a happy social life.
  • Kids will have more freedom of speech than other kids their age.

Related article: how to raise a kid using the authoritative parenting style?

Authoritarian parenting style

This style is known for high expectations and little responsiveness; parents in this style prefer to give clear and strict orders to their kids rather than having mature conversations.

Authoritarian parents are strict when they control their kids like a general or a marshal commanding the soldiers.

Parents are authoritarian because they want their kids to feel secure and safe by following their orders blindly.

Authoritarian parents punish their kids severely by using strict disciplining techniques like yelling and shaming.

There are other different parenting styles that resemble the authoritarian style, like the tiger style.

Children in this style are characterized by the following:

  • Kids will hesitate to make decisions because their parents take control of their lives.
  • Low self-confidence because parents do not feel satisfied with their kids.
  • Kids may suffer from anxiety or depression.
  • Kids will start lying when they break some rules because they are afraid of punishment.

Related article: what is authoritarian parenting? the complete guide

Permissive parenting style

In this parenting style, parents do not punish or discipline their kids, even if there are rules to follow. They will hesitate to abide by them and will do their best to fulfill their kids’ dreams.

So this style is known for high responsiveness and low demands, and children will be characterized by the following:

  • Children will have low academic results because their parents do not force them to study.
  • Kids may have poor decision-making skills because their parents do not provide enough guidance for them.
  • Kids may be arrogant and selfish because their parents do not say no to their needs.
  • When these kids grow up, they may have a problem following rules in their jobs or laws in general because they did not used to follow any rules set by their parents.

Related article: what is permissive parenting? a guide for new parents

Uninvolved parenting style

This parenting style is distinguished by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this style do not fulfill the emotional needs of their kids and are not interested in their demands.

Uninvolved parents are the result of immaturity and have a negative effect on their kids.

Children in this style are characterized by the following:

  • Kids have low academic results because they do not study hard.
  • Adults with uninvolved parents may be addicted to alcohol or drugs.
  • Kids will suffer from depression because they do not feel loved or taken care of.
  • Kids will be vulnerable to bullying  because their parents do not provide them with protection.

Related article: why uninvolved parenting is the worst?

Other types of parenting styles:

As time passes, more types of parenting styles have evolved, like life, and these styles are considered sub-types of Baumrind’s main styles.

Tiger parenting:

This style is used by Chinese American parents and was first mentioned in the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom,” which was written by Amy Chua.

In tiger parenting, parents raise their kids harshly while setting strict rules.

They discipline their kids by shaming them and neglecting their emotional needs.

This style resembles the Authoritarian style in the following ways:

  • Kids will be self-disciplined because they are afraid of their parents’ punishment.
  • Children will suffer from anxiety and depression as they are forced to do things they do not like.
  • Children will not be creative because they only do what their parents say.

Free-range parenting:

This parenting style surfaced when Lenore Skenazy wrote an article in the New York Sun saying that she let her 9-year-old kid ride the subway alone.

Parents in this style rely on giving their kids the freedom to experience new things around them with no supervision so that they can develop skills like courage and making decisions.

Some people think that neglectful parents are the same as free-range parents in not caring about the kids and letting them do whatever they want, but this is not true.

Free-range parents do not allow their kids to do new things unless they are supervised several times before giving them the freedom to do these things alone.

Effects of free-range parenting on children:

  • Kids will be more independent than other kids their age.
  • Kids will have a better social life because they know how to interact with people around them.
  • Children will have more passion and courage to try new things.

Helicopter parenting:

This parenting style is distinguished by overprotective parents who hover over their kids’ heads like a helicopter.

These parents control nearly everything in their kids’ lives, like their activities and behavior.

This term was mentioned in the book “Between Parent and Teenager,” which was written by Dr. Ginott.

These parents will do everything they can to secure a safe and happy life for their kids, only from their point of view.

Effects of helicopter parents on kids:

  • Kids will be dependent on their parents even when they get older.
  • Kids will be protected from bullying as their parents will not let anyone harm them.
  • Kids might not have the necessary social skills to make friends.

Recently, a movie was made by Jennifer Lawrence called “No Hard Feelings”.

This movie is about helicopter parents who try to hire a girl to date their son before he goes to college because he is shy and introverted.

Single parenting:

This parenting style is characterized by having a single parent do all the work alone without help from another partner.

In this style, the parent may not have much time to take care of the kids, so usually the parent may hire a nanny.

Kids in this style may suffer from emotional challenges because they do not have two parents like all the other kids.

Gentle parenting:

This parenting style consists of four elements: understanding, empathy, respect, and boundaries.

Gentle parents work together to teach their kids how to express themselves in good and accepted manners.

Positive parenting:

This style is about being warm and positive toward the kids.

Parents in this style will show love and kindness to their kids by saying positive messages like:

  • You matter to us.
  • We love and trust you.

Effects of positive parenting:

  • A warm relationship between kids and parents.
  • Kids will have better mental health.
  • Children with positive parents will perform better in school.

What is the best parenting style?

All types of parenting styles have pros and cons, but many psychologists say that the authoritative parenting style is considered to be the best parenting style among all styles.

But can all people be authoritative parents?

Of course not; it depends from family to family and from one culture to another.

Western families are more likely to be authoritative, but Eastern families prefer Authoritarian or tiger parenting.

What if I cannot be an authoritative parent all the time?

This issue is common among new parents because they do not know how to implement all the techniques of this style.

So what you need to do is simple: be persistent and patient.

As a parent, you need to know that even experienced parents can sometimes fail to be authoritative because we have busy lives and we need to secure the best future for our kids, so we feel stressed out.

So, if you lose your temper or do not have the time to explain yourself or reason with your kid, then it is okay.

When your mind is clear and you are in a good mood, have a conversation with your kid to explain yourself so your kid can respect and appreciate you as a parent.

How can I learn more about parenting techniques?

Attending parenting classes will help you learn more about other types of parenting styles and will help you have a good relationship with your kid.

In these parenting classes, tutors will teach you the following:

  • Non-aggressive techniques to discipline your kids.
  • How to understand your kids nowadays.
  • How to protect your kids from the side effects of technology

In conclusion…

You need to know at least the essentials for all Different parenting styles; you shouldn’t prepare a Ph.D. for these styles, but as I said, basic knowledge will suffice to have the best outcome for your children.

Now, it’s your turn to share your thoughts by contacting us.