Written by: Barbra Smith / Last updated: Apr. 22, 2024
Some people may think that bad parenting is only a form of abuse, yelling, cursing, or even pinching.
These people also think it is more than enough for parents to secure basic needs for their kids, like shelter and clothing, but smart parents know that this is not enough.
Normal parents should know that there is no such thing as good parents or bad parents because parents are normal humans and have good and bad sides.
Today, we will discuss bad parenting techniques and how to be a good parent.
What is bad parenting?
It means that parents misuse their authority to harm their kids physically and/or emotionally; this harm is done deliberately or unintentionally.
Parents can hurt their kids deliberately because they believe this will make them more disciplined.
Some other parents hurt the kids unintentionally because they have poor parenting skills or ignore raising them to build their careers.
The effects of bad parenting include low self-confidence, low self-esteem, poor school performance, depression symptoms, and poor social skills.
Why do parents become bad?
Parents are not born with negative traits, but they acquire them through time, so we will discuss some of them.
They are vulnerable to continuous stress.
Many parents can develop negative behavior if they are prone to stress from their surrounding environment, like dealing with a toxic coworker or a toxic boss.
Saying “yes” to everything
Bad parenting does not necessarily mean doing bad things to kids but also saying yes to everything they demand.
This way of parenting can raise spoiled children who do not set realistic expectations for their lives when they become adults.
The most famous parenting style that uses this approach is the permissive and uninvolved parenting style.
They were raised by bad parents.
Parents can imitate the style of their own parents unconsciously because they think it is the only way to raise kids effectively.
It will be pure luck for the kids if their grandparents are good at parenting because most grandparents are old-fashioned and have several wrong thoughts about parenting.
They are influenced by unhealthy parenting techniques.
It is common for parents to be influenced by other parents surrounding them, especially if they are close friends or neighbors.
If these friends follow poor parenting styles such as; authoritarian parenting or tiger parenting, then these styles will be used in their surrounding community.
Addiction.
Unfortunately, some irresponsible parents are alcoholics or may do drugs with no shame in it.
This behavior will hurt the children and may lead them to imitate the parents behind their backs.
What do bad parents do?
They harm the kids physically or mentally.
This is considered the most common reason for bad parenting, and it can include things like telling lies, shaming, being judgmental, etc.
A bad parent may ignore disciplining the kids.
When parents are not involved in their kids’ lives, they will turn out to be spoiled and will not be bound by any rules.
This can lead them to have bad traits like being arrogant or irresponsible in their behavior.
They think that kids forget quickly.
When parents do bad things to their kids, they assume they will forget shortly after a couple of days, but this is a wrong thought.
Negative experiences can lead to childhood trauma that lasts forever.
Parents are fighting with each other.
Parents can lead their kids to have depression symptoms, trauma, and tantrums if they do not set a good example in front of them.
Unrealistic expectations of the kids.
Parents may think highly of their kids and force them to achieve many things in a short time, even if they do not like these things, because they constantly compare them to other kids at their age.
These parents want their kids to be successful only from their own perspective, without considering their true wishes or ambitions.
Spying up on their private lives.
Bad parents will not hesitate to enter their kids’ rooms without knocking or spying on their phones and chatting out of curiosity.
How do you undo the effects of bad parenting?
Adjust the parenting style.
There are four main parenting styles, and I suggest that you read about the authoritative parenting style.
This authoritative approach is distinguished by two main things: high responsiveness and demandingness.
Responsiveness means that parents are responsive to their children’s needs, and demandingness means that parents have high expectations of their kids.
Invest more time with the kids.
Spending more time to bond with the children is essential after being a bad parent because this will erase many bad memories about you.
Doing activities with them or watching a movie of their choice is an effective start to your new relationship with them.
Be honest with them.
When kids ask you to buy them things that you cannot afford, do not yell at them or refuse without a proper explanation
Sharing your point of view with the kids and your financial capabilities is essential so that they feel responsible for their demands.
What do people say about bad parents?
We will show you some thoughts on poor parenting from the perspective of some individuals from parenting forums.
“Parents should not accept some of the kids’ extra needs because we should prepare them for the world’s reality or they will be spoiled.” – Sara.
“A negative parent shows no interest in the kids or what happens to them unless they do not bother the parent.” – John.
“I know bad parenting when the kids are afraid of the parents who are supposed to look after them nearly 24/7.” – anonymous.
“When parents do not apologize to the kids when they make a mistake.” – Ava.
“The worst thing about bad parents is when they use their children as pawns in divorces.” – Donald.
