A question that a newly married couple looks for an answer to is:
“What is the Ideal number of children we should have?”
That question has no right or wrong answer because we all have different life circumstances and priorities.
You and your partner should discuss how many kids you want to have to make your family happy.
In this blog post, we will help you get the right answer depending on some factors you should first consider before deciding the perfect family size that suits you best. Remember that creating a happy and close family is your ultimate goal.
We will discuss:
factors that affect family size:
1- The financial situation of the family
Family income is one of the most important factors that can have a direct effect on your family size because it will affect the following:
- The proper education level you can provide for your kids has become more expensive than before.
- The luxury level of your family, like going on a vacation abroad, buying clothes from certain brands, or even participating in certain sports.
- Kids born into a large family with limited financial resources might suffer from anemia or Nutritional diseases because the parents cannot afford to buy various types of food.
- A large family will have to buy a big car that suits their needs and maybe change their Place of residency to a bigger one.
2- Work-life balance:
Most parents have full-time jobs, and maybe one of them has a hard job like working abroad or on a ship.
In this case, one of the parents will not be available to share the responsibilities with the other partner, so parents should consider their careers before deciding the ideal family size they should have.
Parents right now, especially the mom, will look for ways to balance work and her personal life, or she will look for other job opportunities to free up more time so that the family can grow in size.
So, before deciding to have many kids, you and your life partner should know how much time you will free up for your kids.
3- The Mom’s health condition:
Before deciding to have kids, you should visit a doctor to check your physical condition because you might have some problems that should be taken care of first.
After having your lovely first kid, if after a couple of years you decide to have another one, you should consider repeating the visit to the doctor again because you are older than before and maybe pregnancy will affect you and your baby’s health.
A couple I know has already had three kids, and they decided to have a fourth without consulting the doctor.
When the mom got pregnant, she had serious health conditions and had to deliver the baby in the 7th month, and now the baby is underweight and has a hole in the heart.
So, do not ignore visiting a doctor if you plan to have kids.
4- Your ability to provide a healthy and social life for your kids
The relationship between the parents is crucial when planning or discussing the ideal family size, so if the parents are not ok with each other and they already have one child, they might think that having a second one will renew their interest in each other again and make things right, but that is not true.
So, you must make sure to have a healthy relationship with your partner because conflicting with each other will affect the mentality of your kid, and she might have childhood trauma that will make her suffer from bad memories for a long time.
If you still have no kids or plan to have another kid, then consider the neighborhood you live in.
From my point of view, moving to a better neighborhood is a priority before having any kids because that will help your kids have a better social life.
5- Sudden global crisis and advancement of technology
It is not a crucial factor to consider, but it is still important to consider global events as many people lose their jobs during global crises like the 2007-2008 Great Recession.
It makes sense that small families did not suffer like big ones during these crises.
Also, you need to notice that in the last couple of years, many jobs have been replaced by technology and artificial intelligence (AI), like accountants, data entry clerks, customer service executives, and much more.
So, if you have a job that can be easily replaced by technology, then you need to consider changing your career or learning something new because, when you have so many kids, you will not have the opportunity or the required free time to learn something new.
Families with one kid:
Having one child is considered a good choice for the perfect family size for moderately financially stable parents.
Having one child has pros and cons, like:
- The kid will take all the attention from the parents.
- The kid will take all of their love and time.
- The kid will have a better quality of life as money will not be divided among other siblings.
- There will not be any kind of rivalry between siblings.
Cons of having one child:
- The kid might be timid as there is no one to play with.
- The kid might be selfish because no one’s shared anything with her before.
- The parents will 100% miss the chance of having a certain gender; they may have a boy or a girl.
- Their kid might disappoint them, so they do not have another chance of having a successful kid.
- Their kid might be away when they are old, helpless, and need to be taken care of.
A good parent will do whatever needs to be done to avoid these cons as much as possible, like:
- Being good friends with their one kid so the kid doesn’t feel lonely.
- Subscribing to a club in which their kid can make new friends so that the kid will not be timid or selfish
- Advising their kid to share his toys, for example, with kids from the neighborhood so that the kid doesn’t turn out to be selfish
Families with two kids:
Many families suggest that having two children is the Ideal number of children, as it gives your current child a companion, and your kids will not feel lonely. They will play with each other and learn to share so they do not become selfish.
Also, raising a second kid will not be difficult, as you already have a good experience.
A good thing to consider is having a second kid after the first one with a couple of years difference between them so that the older one will help you raise and take care of your second kid.
The cons of having two kids:
- You will have to free up more time for the two kids.
- You will have to spend more money on the second kid’s needs.
- The kids might feel jealous of each other and compare themselves to each other.
Anyway, most families right now like the choice of having two kids, and many governments encourage having two kids as this, in the long run, will help preserve the nation’s resources.
Families with three kids and more:
Having more than two kids has some advantages:
- You will get more help with the chores.
- Your older kid will mentor the new ones and they will help each other in a lot of things.
- They will take care of you when you get older.
- Some countries will pay you money to have more children.
You better fasten your seat belts before reading the cons:
- You will not have any free time to take care of them.
- Your shape will change due to several pregnancies.
- Parents with many kids will look older than those who are the same age as them.
- You will constantly pay money, and you will hardly save any.
- In the future, your oldest child will be responsible for other siblings.
- Kids might not feel happy and criticize their parents lately as they may have had a hard childhood.
Our point of view:
The Ideal number of children can differ from one family to another, but the most common number is four members.
Know that you are not obligated to have a certain number of kids due to social pressure from people around you.
Make the decision to have kids when you and your partner are both mentally and financially stable.
To have a happy family does not depend on the number; it depends on feeling satisfaction because having a big family does not mean being happy.
Consider the fact that quality in life is more important than quantity.