Kids will always be kids, no matter what efforts we make to change their behavior or character, so one of the most common issues that new parents face is when their kids throw a tantrum.
Kids can have tantrums from 18 months old until 4 years old, so you need to fasten your seat belt as your kid will take you on an exciting journey with a one-way ticket.
Dealing with temper tantrums should be wise because your actions can have positive or negative effects on your child.
Positive effects will help in improving the relationship between the two of you; on the contrary, dealing badly with a crying tantrum can cause childhood trauma for your kid, so make your choice wisely.
In this blog post, we will discuss the following:
What are temper tantrums?
Tantrums, or toddler tantrums, are easily defined as uncontrollable emotional disorders that happen to kids, and they can take several forms like yelling, screaming, hitting objects, jumping out of rage, and even biting.
Toddler tantrums are totally normal in kids, and they are not an indication of the parenting style of the parents.
A toddler temper tantrum is a sign that your kid has a personality and needs, like wanting more food or desserts or staying awake for a late hour.
Why do toddler tantrums happen?
Toddlers cry and have temper tantrums because they cannot express themselves clearly because their vocabulary only has a few words.
Kids can throw a tantrum for several reasons:
- Tiredness
- Hunger
- Feeling uncomfortable
- Not getting what they want.
- Cannot convince someone of something they want.
- Not getting attention from someone.
- A sudden change of plans, like leaving their favorite place early.
Note that toddler tantrum rates are higher in girls than boys because, by nature, girls are more sensitive.
Surprisingly, tantrums can last longer for boys than girls because girls mature faster than boys.
Also, remember that this phase in kids is temporary and does not last forever, as kids know more words and know how to regulate their feelings and temper, but they can still have a tantrum from time to time, and that is called an adult tantrum.
How to deal with toddler tantrums?
Dealing with kids who throw a tantrum can be a little problematic for new parents because they do not know how to handle these situations.
Some parents will easily accept their kid’s demands just to stop the crying or yelling, but doing that will have a negative effect in the long run because the kid will repeat the same behavior every time he needs anything within reach.
Other parents will refuse this behavior and might exaggerate their reactions to their kids, like yelling and punishing, and that might not be a healthy attitude for the relationship in the long run because when the kids grow up, they will not feel threatened by their parents anymore.
A good attitude for dealing with toddler tantrums is to accept them sometimes and to refuse them sometimes, depending on the situation. Also, knowing about different parenting styles will help you learn more about good parenting techniques to minimize the tantrums as much as you can.
Watch this video for more information:
Techniques to handle toddler temper tantrums
- Time out
This is the first option for you to discipline your toddler, and it is effective for the first few times, but using the same technique for a long time will not be good because your kid will get used to it.
- Giving warnings.
Sometimes, it is essential to warn your kid that being angry and not behaving well for a long time will have consequences, like sleeping earlier than usual or not eating candy.
- A sudden move
Toddlers can lose their attention quickly by using any distracting object, like a softball or their favorite toy.
So, remember to distract your toddler before the tantrum begins.
- Do the number trick.
Some parents like the counting down technique so that when they finish the count, they start disciplining the kid, like using a time-out.
This technique can be helpful if the toddler understands what comes next after the counting ends.
- Ignoring
Sometimes, it is helpful to act like you do not notice your toddler’s tantrums because ignoring your kid’s actions, like yelling or crying, can put out the fire of a crying tantrum early.
- Be serious.
Do not give in to your child’s tantrums because it just annoys you, because giving up will allow your child to repeat the same behavior many times.
So remember, no means no.
How do you avoid temper tantrums as much as you can?
Avoiding toddler tantrums can be done by taking some simple steps like giving options to your kid and having an obvious agreement before doing anything. You can also encourage this deal by promising a small prize if your toddler behaves well.
Also, remember that you should not mimic your kids when they are upset because mimicking children will make the situation worse because they will feel insulted.
Examples of some agreements to avoid toddler tantrums:
- When should we turn off the TV and go to sleep? 8 p.m. or 9 p.m.
- Which shirt do you prefer more, this one or that one?
- We are going to visit Grandma, and when it is 7 p.m., we will leave. Is that okay with you?
Note that you should suggest a suitable time or option so that your kid can choose freely, and by doing that, your kid will feel in control and will be satisfied.
What should you do if you lose control over your temper?
This is an important issue that most new parents fall into because exaggerating your reaction and harshly punishing your kid will cause childhood trauma.
So, you should do the following to not lose control:
- Call your partner to help you in this situation.
- If your child is old enough, then take a deep breath and step back from this situation if you feel stressed.
- Ask your mom or dad for help because they may have a different solution for how to deal with toddler tantrums, and they may have some interesting stories about you when you were a kid doing the same thing.
Just remember that trauma will have negative and long-lasting effects on your kids, like:
- Having nightmares and peeing on the bed while sleeping.
- Excessive fear from you.
- Trust issues and low self-confidence.
- Anxiety and depression.
How to ignore temper tantrums?
Ignoring a tantrum can be a helpful strategy to make your kid stop the crying tantrum but first, make sure that he is safe before deciding to leave him.
There are several ways to do this, like:
- I did not notice.
If your kid starts to throw a tantrum like starting crying, jumping up and down, then go to another room, and do something; after a while, your kid will stop crying.
- Do not look into his eyes.
If your kid is crying and you cannot leave the room, do not make eye contact with each other because that sends a clear message that you do not care about the crying.
What if the tantrum is violent?
A toddler cannot control his feelings or actions, so when the kid starts to throw a tantrum, he may start hitting, kicking, or throwing something at the wall.
We all know that this behavior should not be acceptable, and you should be serious about it because some parents say that it is just a weak hit from a kid, and they ignore the hitting.
Violent tantrums should not be tolerated by any means, so you should do the following:
- Block the hit while talking some sense to your kid.
An example: “I cannot let you hit me because you are a good kid”
- Set strict rules for hitting.
“There is no TV time for you for the rest of the day.” or “You will not eat the ice cream today.”
After some time, your kid will be able to regulate his emotions and eventually stop the hitting behavior.