Written by: Barbra Smith / Last updated: Mar 22, 2024
The authoritative parenting style is when your kid expects high responsiveness and high demands from you.
Your kid has emotions like any other human being and expects to have mature conversations with you based on persuasion, not just strict orders.
If you are preparing to be a parent and try to acknowledge yourself with parenting styles and what it looks like to raise a kid, then this article is for you.
And if you are already a new parent, check out this article to learn valuable parenting tips for your child’s development.
In this blog post, we will discuss the following:
- What is the authoritative parenting style?
- Benefits of the Authoritative Parenting Style
- Cons of the authoritative parenting style
- Comparison between this style and other styles
- How do you know that you are an authoritative parent?
- How do authoritative parents punish their children?
- Other sub-types of parenting styles
What is the authoritative parenting style?
This parenting style means being a strict parent, but in a good way, which means that parents have principles and are strict with these principles.
This kind of family is a planned one, which means that they are functional and not a spontaneous family and that everything goes according to the plan they have decided.
In this style, there are high levels of responsiveness and demands, according to Diana Baumrind.
Responsiveness means that parents are highly responsive to their child’s needs, and high demands mean that parents have high expectations of their child.
Other non-authoritative parents manipulate their kids only to make their own lives easier.
For example, when kids make a mistake, permissive or neglectful parents do not punish them because they don’t want to argue with them, so they let them go unpunished, which is not a healthy parenting approach at all.
Benefits of the Authoritative Parenting Style
These parents tend to raise their kids in a healthy relationship; they also like to spend a lot of quality time and support the kids in the activities they choose of their own free will, which leads to the following:
- Your kid will become more independent than his peers.
- The kid will be responsible for his actions.
- The kids will have the courage to explain their opinions on any subject.
- Your kid will be socially accepted and successful in school.
- Kids who are born to authoritative parents tend to show respect to their friends and teachers at school.
These parents are more likely to discuss everything with their children because leading discussions will show them how to treat their kids and will point to warning signs they need to watch out for in their behavior.
For example:
My uncle had a simple dispute with his wife, and my mom and grandmother knew about it.
They discussed the dispute and how my uncle should have reacted, and then I had a thought I wanted to share with them.
After I told them my thought, which was a ridiculous one, my mom discouraged me by saying:
“This is a discussion between grownups only.”
After this, I was silent and never shared my opinion with anyone for some time because I was afraid of being embarrassed again.
So, as a parent, never discourage your kid from sharing some thoughts because it will affect your kid’s self-confidence; instead, you should encourage your kid to share the talk with you so that you can have the opportunity to correct her thoughts.
Cons of the authoritative parenting style
Parents tend to have high expectations of their kids, but they should also consider that kids will not be kids for a long time.
As kids grow up to become adults, parents should consider that their kids will show new traits like being impatient, showing anger, or having little to no conversations with their parents.
Parents should know that these changes are temporary and natural, so they should face them patiently.
Comparison between this style and other styles
The clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind also mentioned other parenting styles, such as:
This parenting style resembles military life, which has high demands and low responsiveness.
Kids listen to the orders and do exactly as told without persuasion or discussion.
Their free will is not theirs anymore to control; it belongs to the parents.
A famous example of this style is:
Remember the Lion King movie when Mufasa ordered Simba not to explore the dark area of the jungle without explaining why?
However, young Simba wanted to know why his father prohibited him from that dark area; he later endangered his life. You know the rest of the story.
It is a parenting style in which you become a friend with your kids, not the parent; you let your kids do what they want whenever they want, and maybe you might lose control of them as they get older.
Some cultures in Eastern countries have a saying:
“Let the street teach them.”
In this style, parents have no effective role in raising their children; they just let them do anything, and even if it is bad, they do not punish or advise them.
How do you know that you are an authoritative parent?
To know the answer, you should answer the following first:
- Do you let your child express her opinion freely, even though she does not have enough experience?
- Do you encourage your child to do certain actions without your help, like giving him money to pay the cashier or making a phone call to order a delivery without your help?
- If you support your children when they are sad, upset, etc.
If you do things like these, you are considered an authoritative parent and a good mom.
The opposite question is:
“How do I know if I am not an authoritative parent?
- You punish your children severely because maybe your day was not good.
- Act negatively toward your child’s needs.
- You do not discipline your kids if they do something wrong, etc.
Anyway, let’s be practical here; you cannot be ideal; you might be good for a day or two, and sometimes you might lose your temper.
When you lose your temper, try to rebound quickly and make it right again until you get used to this parenting style.
How do authoritative parents punish their children?
Kids have little to no knowledge of how to do things, so they try any action that comes to mind.
I remember my nephew, who wondered what could happen if he stuck his leg in the elevator between the small gap in the cabinet and the wall.
My sister acted quickly and then pushed the kid away from that gap and yelled at him, and then she explained why it is dangerous to do that and how it may harm his leg.
Discipline has proved useful for many things, like:
- Your kid will have the life skill of critical thinking and knowing what consequences could happen.
- The kid will have the courage to explain his thoughts before doing something foolish.
- Your kid will help and notify you if any other kids are trying to harm themselves, so you can go and save the situation.
So, when your kid does something wrong, do not hesitate to save the situation, and then calmly explain why she should not do this.
If your kid tries to do it again, do not hesitate to ground her for some time, and after that, explain again why she should not do that again.
Setting strict rules and disciplining your kids is a must to ensure their safety, but do not exaggerate so that you do not create childhood trauma for your child.
Other sub-types of parenting styles
The other four types of parenting styles partially look the same as the normal parenting styles founded by Baumrind. These parenting styles are:
This style resembles authoritarian parenting in making demands and giving orders to kids.
Parents in this style will pay close attention to every single detail in their child’s life.
In this style, parents let their kids have new experiences without much help.
In this style, parents will remove any obstacle that may face their kids.
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