Responsive parenting style is considered one of the parenting styles, approaches, or techniques, like child-led parenting or gentle parenting.
This approach is characterized by fulfilling the kids’ needs emotionally and physically.
In return, children will feel valued and understood, and they will turn out to be good individuals for their society.
Check out our table of contents:
How do you be a responsive parent?
How do you be responsive with toddlers?
What is responsive parenting?
Many parents get confused about the specific definition of responsiveness because some parents think that meeting their kids’ basic needs is enough to be responsive.
Parents are not responsive when they only provide for their kids’ basic needs, like a safe home, food, clothes, etc.
On the contrary, responsive parents do really care about their kids’ extra needs, like emotional care and support, or getting them things they want, like new toys.
However, parents should not exaggerate being responsive because that will have more negative effects than positive ones.
How do you be a responsive parent?
There are many techniques for responsive parenting, but today we are going to discuss the most important ones, and they are:
Agree to their wishes willingly.
We all know that kids are annoying because they do not stop asking their parents for things they want, which makes parents feel stressed.
So, when parents accept their kids’ wishes, they sometimes keep bragging about them, like saying:
“I brought you what you wanted.”
So, if you do this with your kids, then stop doing it because they will not like to ask you to get them anything again.
Always treat them nicely.
Some parents are not good enough at parenting, or sometimes they treat kids with toxic behavior, but despite that, they fulfill their kids’ wishes from time to time.
In this case, kids will not appreciate their parents’ efforts because they always feel humiliated when they ask for something.
Set clear rules about what is allowed or not.
One of the common things that parents have to deal with is toddler tantrums.
When you are outside with your kid and she asks you to get her something she wants badly, but you refuse, she begins to cry and shout.
To evade this situation, you have to make a deal with your kid that if she behaves well, you will reward her with something she likes.
Pros of responsive parenting
Kids will feel satisfied.
Kids will have better behavior. When parents care about their needs, they will be accepted socially among their peers and will not develop behavioral disorders.
They will also perform better in their academic studies than their friends who do not have responsive parents.
Better relationship with kids.
The relationship between parents and kids will improve because kids will feel safe and secure when they ask their parents to get them things they like.
Better mental and physical health.
Kids will not have issues mentally, such as depression or anxiety, and that can have a direct impact on their physical appearance, like not getting chronic diseases or sleep problems.
Check out this article about the relationship between mental and physical health.
Cons of responsive parenting
There is a chance to have a spoiled kid.
When parents work hard to fulfill their son’s wishes without setting rules or paying attention to discipline him, then he will be a spoiled child.
Children may throw tantrums despite responsive parenting.
There is a chance that children throw tantrums even if you make deals with them or discipline them when they break rules because kids are just kids and throwing a tantrum is a natural behavior at their age.
Kids may be jealous of each other.
Never ever care about one kid’s wishes and ignore another kid’s wishes.
This attitude will make your kids jealous of each other and seriously damage their relationship with each other.
In responsive parenting, you have to be fair and treat kids equally.
How do you be responsive with toddlers?
If you have a toddler, then you should respond to her basic and extra needs, like getting enough care, food, clothes, toys, etc.
Remember that there are things you should avoid giving to your toddler, like toys with small pieces or cell phones.
If your little daughter is determined to get something that is not good for her, then do not take it away from her suddenly because you will get an instant toddler tantrum.
Instead, distract your daughter with something she likes, like her favorite doll, until she forgets.
How do you be responsive with young kids?
Young kids are more challenging than toddlers because they want to get more valued things like a new PC, gaming console, or expensive phone.
In this case, you cannot distract kids because they are not toddlers anymore; instead, you have to talk with your kid and explain why you cannot give him what he needs.
Talking sense into kids in this phase of parenting is essential to making them understand that we all have limits and that even you, the parent, want to get things for yourself but you cannot, and you are okay with that.
Doing this will not be a piece of cake with kids because they just do not care, but repeating your justifications will help them understand.
Anyway, responsive parenting is important while raising our kids, but remember to do it moderately and according to your abilities.
How many parents use responsive parenting with their kids?
According to Parenting for Brain, around 50% of American parents use the authoritative style, which has the best results in responsive parenting.
In general, two parenting styles use responsive parenting, but only one of them uses it correctly.
Let me elaborate.
There are four main parenting styles researched by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, and they are:
Baumrind classifies these styles according to two factors: responsiveness and demandingness.
Responsiveness means how parents react to their kids’ needs while being flexible, democratic, and warm to them.
Demandingness means that parents have high expectations while setting clear rules in the house.
The authoritative style has high responsiveness and demandingness.
The permissive style has high responsiveness and low demandingness.
So, authoritative parents are capable of making everything just right in parenting, unlike permissive parents, who are likely to have spoiled kids.
