If your child is responsible, has a strong personality, or has good behavior, then congratulations! You are using the democratic parenting style with your kids.
We all know that parenting is a tough task that we need to do efficiently, and it is our responsibility to take care of our kids and raise them in the best possible way.
Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist, conducted research on parenting styles, and she mentioned the authoritative parenting style, which is the same as the democratic parenting style.
In this article, we will discuss the following:
Democratic parenting definition
Positive effects of democratic parents.
Negative effects of the democratic parenting style.
What if I cannot use this style effectively?
What if my life partner is not a democratic parent?
Democratic parenting definition
Generally, Diana Baumrind classifies parenting styles based on two main factors: responsiveness and demandingness.
In this style, Baumrind says that there is a high level of demandingness and responsiveness from the parents toward their kids.
Responsiveness means that kids get good and healthy care from their parents, like paying attention to them or fulfilling their needs.
Demandingness means that democratic parents have high expectations of their kids to be successful and good individuals in their home and society.
Signs of a democratic parent
The parents of this style have many signs, such as:
- Parents encourage the kids to express their opinions freely.
- Democratic parents give their kids the freedom to do things under their supervision.
- They set rules and discipline the kids when they break them.
- In the democratic parenting style, parents appreciate and treat the kids with respect.
- Parents care about the kids’ needs.
Positive effects of democratic parents.
You should notice by now that this style should be the one you follow because it has many pros, like:
More self-confidence.
Democratic parents consider their kids’ opinions and have mature conversations with them to make decisions.
This attitude will strengthen their personalities and make them proud, which can help them feel confident when dealing with strangers.
A better social life
Kids will make new friendships easily because they are friendly and have no reason to avoid new relationships.
Better physical and mental health
The children will not be vulnerable to a traumatic experience from their parents, which can lead to better mental health and a happy childhood.
Having good mental health will have a direct impact on the physical appearance of your children.
High academic achievements
Parents who follow the democratic parenting style will encourage their kids to study hard and will reward them when they get high exam scores.
These parents will encourage their kids to explore their ambitions and help them become what they want.
Close family members.
Democratic parents will make their homes happy because they spend enough time with their kids while doing activities and they have a healthy work-life balance.
They do not break laws.
In a democratic parenting style, parents make rules for their kids and work really hard to make them understand and respect these rules.
When parents do that, their kids will have fewer behavioral problems and will not break the rules because they know there will be consequences.
Negative effects of the democratic parenting style.
It might be hard for some parents.
Parents who did not have a democratic childhood or were born to strict parents may have some challenges, like not knowing how to have a conversation with kids.
Some other impatient parents will not be comfortable with the democratic parenting style because it requires patience and time while dealing with kids.
It takes too much time.
Sometimes, parents feel stressed and exhausted because of the nature of their job, so they don’t have the time or the ability to convince their kids to do something.
In this case, they will order the kids without giving them reasons, which could be an unpleasant experience for children.
Too much freedom
Some democratic parents are forgiving and do not care enough about disciplining their kids, so they become permissive parents.
In this case, Kids will feel too much freedom without considering the consequences of their actions, so they may develop irresponsible behavior.
What if I cannot use this style effectively?
New parents may not succeed the first time they try to implement all the techniques of the democratic parenting style, but do not worry because no one else can.
Parenting is a challenging journey that needs patience, so do not be upset because we have all been there.
You should do four main things to make sure you will become the ideal parent for your kids:
Knowledge is your best friend.
Realize that you need to know more about parenting and how to be a good parent because doing that will expand your awareness.
Small steps first, giant leaps second.
You should start applying the simple techniques you learn one at a time to your kids until you get the hang of them, and then begin to use more challenging techniques.
Keep up the hard work.
You need to be persistent and patient because we cannot succeed or implement all the parenting techniques at once.
Be yourself.
Do not pay attention to the criticism you may get from the people around you if you do not act like them in the parenting style you use with your children.
What if my life partner is not a democratic parent?
It is OK if you and your partner do not follow the same parenting style because we are all different.
We were not born into the same family, and we did not have the same childhood when we were young. But in the end, you both ended up together.
What I would suggest in this case is that you both take advantage of your differences and fill in the gaps between each other.
For example, if you follow the democratic parenting style and your partner is authoritarian, then kids will get care and love from you, and your partner will set strict rules for the home.
This example is real because I am talking about myself.
How should democratic parents discipline their kids?
When parents think about setting rules, they think about how to punish their kids when they do not follow these rules.
This relies on the kids’ ages because we cannot discipline a 3-year-old boy like a 10-year-old because following the same discipline techniques does not make any sense.
What matters is that you should not exaggerate when disciplining because that could be an unpleasant traumatic experience for your kids.
Other parenting styles you need to know about
Diana Baumrind has also mentioned three other parenting styles, including:
In this style, kids should expect high demands and low responsiveness.
Parents set strict rules, punish their kids severely, and expect total obedience from the children.
Permissive parenting style
This style is characterized by high responsiveness and little demandingness.
Parents work really hard to fulfill their kids’ wishes, and they set few to no rules. When kids break these rules, they forgive them and ignore disciplining them.
In this style, there is low responsiveness and demandingness.
Parents do not give enough care to their kids; they do not set rules to follow, and they do not care about their children’s needs.