The term lawnmower parenting evolved when some celebrities, CEOs, and college coaches were sentenced to a college admission scandal.
Those celebrities paid money to have their kids’ ACT and SAT tests taken for them or corrected, and that is why they were called lawnmower parents.
This behavior is common for parents who are constantly worried about their kids’ future and happiness, so they are willing to do anything to protect them from any discomfort or disappointment.
In this guide, we will help you to understand everything about a lawnmower parent through the following elements:
What is the lawnmower parenting style?
Why do parents become lawnmower parents?
5 consequences of Using Lawnmower Parenting on Parents and Kids
What is the lawnmower parenting style?
A lawnmower is a machine used to cut overgrown grass to a specific height, but the lawnmower parenting style is when parents try to solve their kids’ issues on their behalf, even if their kids are able to deal with these issues themselves without the help of their parents.
Normal parents provide protection and support for their children, but lawnmower parents are overprotective and oversupportive, and that is not a healthy approach to parenting.
This parenting style is the opposite of child led parenting, which gives the children more authority and responsibility to handle their issues without much parental support.
Lawnmower parents have signs like:
1) They always defend their kids, even if they are wrong.
2) Parents keep picking kids up from school every day.
3) They may do the homework for their kids.
4) The parents do not assign them simple chores like making their beds.
Related: HOW TO RAISE A KID USING THE AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING STYLE?
Why do parents become lawnmower parents?
Generally, there are two main reasons for parents to follow the lawnmower parenting style, and they are:
They have little to no experience in parenting.
Parents who were deprived of a happy childhood will work tirelessly to give their kids the life they did not have, like better education, an acceptable social life, luxurious clothes, etc.
That parenting approach led one of the celebrities to pay a bribe to let her daughter have a higher SAT score, and she justified that by saying that it was the only option to give her daughter a bright future.
This kind of parenting is unhealthy for our children because if they get everything they want, they will become selfish and refuse to contribute anything for the sake of their family or society.
They did not have much freedom in childhood.
Authoritarian or controlling parents like to use their authority to micromanage their kids’ lives, and they justify this behavior because they think kids will never have enough experience to decide things for themselves.
When kids of controlling parents grow up and have their own families, they may become lawnmower parents and unconsciously do the same thing to their own kids because they think controlling is the normal attitude.
Related: IS DEMOCRATIC PARENTING GOOD? WITH INTERESTING FAQS
5 consequences of using lawnmower parenting on parents and kids
This style of parenting has cons, like:
Kids will not be trustworthy.
As parents take control of their kids’ lives and make decisions on their behalf, kids will not be able to make decisions for themselves when their parents are not around.
This issue could escalate in the future, and some kids will be hesitant in their choices, like not choosing a suitable life partner, a career, etc.
Children will have no life experience.
Lawnmower parents will not leave their kids to face problems on their own; instead, they will intervene without giving them a single chance to handle the situation.
The children do not have a chance to make a mistake and learn from it, so they will not have any real-life experience unless their parents stop using this attitude.
Kids will be timid.
The children of a lawnmower parent will not have enough courage to do simple tasks like talking to strangers to ask them for directions or asking someone for help in some task because their parents always do everything for them.
There is no privacy with lawnmower parents.
Some lawnmower parents develop toxic behavior because they are constantly afraid of their kids’ safety, so they may look at their phones from time to time.
Parents will feel overwhelmed.
Parents will only care and worry about their kids so much that they forget about themselves. This behavior will lead the parents to give up their social life and may lead to some health problems, like anxiety.
How do I stop being a lawnmower parent?
There are several ways to get your life back to normal, like:
Start to make them responsible step by step.
Stop doing things for your son and start to depend on him for simple tasks, like doing simple chores.
For example, after he gains some self-confidence, start giving him larger tasks, like babysitting his younger sibling.
Focus on your life needs.
Start paying more attention to your life; start practicing a sport, hanging out with friends, taking your life partner out to dinner, etc.
Private time is essential for your mental health, so do not ignore it.
Let them face the consequences.
When your daughter makes a mistake, let her try to solve the problem on her own, and if she is hesitant, then you should only give her advice or your opinion but never solve the issue on her behalf.
For example, if she wakes up late and misses the school bus, do not rush for her help by driving her to school; instead, let her walk to school.
Stop forcing them to do what you want.
Listening to your kids’ true wishes or needs and giving them the necessary help to achieve them is a good thing to do while stopping using the lawnmower parenting style.
Helicopter parents vs lawnmower parents.
Helicopter parenting style was first mentioned in the book “Between Parent and Teenager,” written by Dr. Grinott, and in this book, teenagers describe their parents as helicopters hovering over them.
All helicopter parents like to control their kids’ lives by choosing their friends, solving their issues, choosing their coaches, etc.
The main and only difference between the two styles is that lawnmower parents will intervene and solve their kids’ issues before they even show up.
That’s why some celebrities had to pay money to falsify the SAT scores of their kids without giving them a chance to face their own challenges.
To sum up, lawnmower parenting is an extreme form of helicopter parenting.
