We all know the importance of the family, so it is normal for anyone anywhere to have loving and supportive family members because they will contribute to our success, but it is not normal to deal with and live with toxic family members.
Some people may have bad luck when they have to live with one toxic person among family members on a daily basis, but it is OK because we are not perfect humans.
Before we begin discussing toxic family signs, I need to remind you that having a problem with a family member does not mean that this member is toxic by nature, because having a bad day can lead to negative temporary feelings for this family member.
So, in this article, we are going to talk about the toxic family members:
Why do families become toxic?
Family members are not toxic naturally, but they can develop a toxic behavior over time for many reasons, like:
Having continuous stress for a long time.
Stress can develop negative feelings for a family member because it can cause aggression, insomnia, sadness, etc.
All these effects can lead to toxic behavior for family members.
Parents can gain stress from their work if its environment is toxic, and siblings can get stressed if they have a challenging academic study.
Feeling insecure about the careers
It is clear to all people that the world before COVID-19, the current recession, and the development of AI is not the same anymore.
Many people have lost their jobs, and many others are threatened to lose their jobs because of the advancement of artificial intelligence.
So, if your parents lost their jobs or threatened to lose their current jobs, then they may develop toxicity because they feel insecure.
Having a relationship with other toxic individuals.
If one of the family members develops sudden toxicity, then there might be a new bad friendship because this kind of friendship is contagious.
Dealing with a toxic friend can lead to undesirable effects like substance abuse, emotional disorders, depression, and anxiety.
So, if your dad, mom, or one of your siblings changes suddenly, then look for the new friendship in their lives, and you will find your answers.
Bad parenting techniques
Your parents may use ineffective parenting techniques like helicopter parenting or authoritarian parenting.
In these parenting styles, parents do not care about their kids’ needs, and they force them to do what they want.
Also, parents will not let their kids have the opportunity to express their opinions, which can lead to low self-confidence.
Experiencing bullying or a traumatic experience.
If one of your siblings has experienced domestic violence or has been bullied by someone, he will feel insecure and may develop toxic behavior.
Seeking professional help is necessary when dealing with someone who has had a traumatic experience or has been bullied.
Neglecting medical treatment will deteriorate mental health and can have serious consequences.
Check out this article and see how a harmful childhood and trauma can lead a person to be a serial killer.
Toxic family signs
There are toxic family relationships signs, so you need to remember them carefully. These signs are:
Toxic parents may prefer one kid to another.
Many parents love and prefer one of the kids to the other, like giving one kid more pocket money than the other or showing more love to one than the other, so this behavior can have serious outcomes like jealousy and hatred.
The tense relationship between the parents.
Parents may not love each other anymore at some point in their lives, which can have a negative effect on all the family members, like making the kids feel envious of other kids who have loving parents.
No one respects you.
Toxic family members will not show enough respect toward you like when a brother does not respect his older brother and the parents justify the younger brother’s behavior without blaming him for not respecting his older brother.
Conditional love is one of the toxic family dynamics.
Parents may use conditions when dealing with you, like doing what they want to give you something you want in return.
This kind of relationship teaches the kids that family members may have mutual benefits, and this is wrong because the family should love each other unconditionally.
Toxic family members keep violating your privacy.
One of the toxic family relationships that I hate is when your family does not respect your privacy, like spying on your chats with your friends or borrowing your stuff without asking you.
They blame you when something goes wrong.
Maybe one of the siblings is afraid of being disciplined, so when something goes wrong around the house, he might lie or blame his sister or brother for this thing without taking responsibility.
Over time, this behavior will develop into a toxic relationship between siblings.
Parents will belittle their kids.
We all know that we will never be older than our parents, but at the same time, we grow up and gain experience throughout our lives.
Some parents will always direct and may force their kids to do something because they think it is the right choice without consulting them because they think their kids are still young and they do not know what is good for them.
Effects of toxic family members on you
All the toxic family traits that we have mentioned above will have undesirable effects, such as:
Being hesitant when making decisions.
Kids will not have the ability to think clearly or make a decision because their parents decide everything for them.
So, kids will not have enough self-confidence when making decisions because they are criticized and discouraged.
You might choose an unsuitable boyfriend or girlfriend just to escape your toxic home.
When kids become adults, they could make a fatal mistake that may affect their lives badly by choosing the wrong individual to date or marry to escape the toxicity of their homes.
Doing this will let you repeat the same misery of living a new toxic life.
You might be toxic when you make your own family.
One of the things that you should look out for is your unconscious mind. This mind will remember how badly your parents and your siblings treated you.
So, you should remember to control that mind by teaching it right from wrong because if you do not, then you will become another copy of your parents and will make your kids suffer just like you.
Kids may become troublemakers.
Being vulnerable to continuous stress or toxicity may lead to problems for the kids at school.
When kids receive bad treatment at home, they will want to do the same harm to other kids at school, like bullying or being racist.
Change in physical appearance.
Depression and anxiety can lead to some health problems for kids, like weight gain, diabetes, headaches, an irregular heartbeat, and sweating.
Also, bad mental health can make the kids look much older than those who are the same age as them.
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Self-hurt.
Dealing with toxic family members can deteriorate your mental health, and that can lead you to think about self-harm, which can have undesirable consequences.
So, if you feel you want to harm yourself, then seek professional help immediately.
How to deal with toxic family members?
Dealing with this kind of family requires seriousness, so you should do the following:
Have a strong personality.
One of the things that can help you is to set clear rules when a family member mistreats you. These rules may not be totally effective with your parents, but they will be effective with your siblings.
Get help from a family member.
If the relationship is at its worst with your parents, then seek help from a family member like your uncle, aunt, or grandparents.
These family members will help you enhance the relationship between you and your parents.
Escape unnecessary conflicts.
“Escape small battles.”
It is okay to avoid silly conflicts with a family member because getting involved in every disagreement will cause you headaches and anxiety.
Have an official relationship with your toxic family members.
If there is no chance to have a healthy life with your toxic family, then try to isolate yourself as much as possible, like having small discussions, and only show up for lunch or dinner.
Professional help.
If you do not feel okay, then you should seek help from a certified professional because they have the ability to treat you psychologically.
Accept the situation as it is until you can live alone.
I need you to leave the house when you are old enough and to be dependent on yourself when you feel confident in your abilities.
Living alone will let you feel the freedom you did not have in your family house, so make it a priority.
Do not cut ties.
From time to time, I need you to fix the relationship between you and your family members because this is still your family and maybe they have matured a little bit, so why not make it better?
Our final advice to you
I know that having a loving family is normal, but dealing with toxic family members is not your fault and does not make you a bad person.
“Love your life.”
What I need you to do is to live a happy life far from your family and choose a suitable life partner so that when you have kids, you can make them live the life you could not have and try to live this life with them to forget all the bad memories you had.