Permissive parenting is a well-known parenting style that was founded by the developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind.
This parenting style is characterized by a lack of discipline from the parents; in other words, it is known for high responsiveness and low demands.
Parents in this style are keen on making their kids’ dreams come true without setting any limits or boundaries for them at all.
You can see this style clearly in high-class families where the father and the mother work hard and earn decent money, and they do not pay enough attention to their kids’ behavior. As a result of this approach, kids become spoiled.
At the end of the article, there is a real story of permissive parents raising a son, so keep reading.
Effects of permissive parenting
This parenting style can have positive and negative effects like any other style, so let’s begin with the good side of this style.
Pros:
This style offers some good traits, like:
- A super parent: parents in this style protect their kids from anything that could harm them.
- A loving parent: permissive parents are ready to guarantee their kids’ dreams at any cost with all the love and warmth in the world.
- Sharing personal opinions: Kids can discuss and talk freely with their parents as they are not afraid of punishment or discipline.
Cons:
Academic researchers found that a permissive parenting style can lead to negative consequences as Children in this permissive parenting style struggle with the following:
- Children tend to have less empathy, which leads to poor social skills.
- As there’s no real responsibility towards the kids, they will not have to study hard or do any homework because their parents do not monitor their studying habits, which leads to poor academic results.
- The Kids tend to be impulsive and aggressive because they do not know the limits of their natural behavior and do not know how to approach a problem, so they face stress, and because there are no real consequences or punishments from their parents, they become aggressive.
- When the kid gets older, he may become addicted to alcohol or drugs.
- Children in this permissive parenting style tend to make bad decisions as their parents do not pay enough attention to them or give them any advice, so they have poor problem-solving skills.
- As there are no rules for the kids to follow, they will tend to be lazy and overweight, which leads to several health problems.
Permissive parenting examples
Some examples of permissive parenting are like:
- Parents accept all their children’s needs without discussion.
- Parents always consider their children’s opinions on major decisions.
- Permissive parents treat their kids as friends with no boundaries.
- The parents set no limits or standards for their children, which means kids can do whatever they want.
- Parents of this style will never admit that their kid gets older and will always treat him as a child, and that reflects on the “self-dependence” trait.
- Parents will tend to bribe the kid with desserts or toys to follow their orders, and when the kid gets used to this, she will never give up this kind of bribery.
- Permissive parents do not enforce any chores or home activities on their kids.
What is the recommended parenting style?
Although the permissive parenting style offers care and unconditional love to the kids, parents do not set rules for their kids or discipline them.
Most parents feel more attracted to the authoritative parenting style because they can set clear rules and, at the same time, care for and love their kids.
Comparison between different parenting styles
Baumrind has also identified other parenting styles, like:
In this style, kids expect high responsiveness and high demands from their parents, and it is the most suitable style many parents use while raising their kids.
This style is known for being strict, with high expectations from your child and little to no responsiveness. You give orders, expect control over your child, and total obedience.
In this style, parents do not guide their kids or punish them for their actions.
There are also other types of parenting styles, like:
Parents who follow this parenting style will raise their children with care but will make any decision for their kids without consulting them.
In this style, parents will hover like helicopters over their kids’ heads to help and protect them from bad experiences without letting them face their problems on their own.
It is the style in which parents give their kids the freedom to experience something so that they can be independent. This style resembles uninvolved parenting, but free-range parents will consider their kids’ safety, unlike uninvolved parents.
What to do if you and your partner are permissive parents?
Being a permissive parent and trying to adapt to another parenting style might be hard for parents and kids because setting rules and boundaries suddenly will cause tantrums and rebellions, so you need to implement these new rules step by step by setting easy rules first, like:
- Giving your kids simple chores to do in the house
- Rewarding kids for their good behavior
- Setting boundaries and acting as a parent, not a friend.
A real example of permissive parents raising kids:
A son of a high-class family committed a crime. The son’s father was a millionaire and a well-known businessman.
The parents raised their son without boundaries and gave him everything he asked for. They did not punish him for anything, and when their son grew old, they had enough power to give him a job in a decent organization.
Their son had a girlfriend, and that girlfriend was the daughter of a well-known actor, and of course, both of them had tons of money and no responsibility.
On some night in the winter, they had a dispute as any other couple would have, but as we mentioned before, the kids were raised by permissive parents, so they had poor problem-solving skills, so he hit her severely, and unfortunately, the girl passed away.
Later, this young man admitted what he did to the poor girl to his parents, and when the girl’s mom knew what had happened to her daughter, she was in another country shooting her new movie.
She called the police, and at the same time the rich family of the young man had hired a poor man to take the fall and gave him a lot of money to act as a predator who tried to steal the girl’s house.
After the trials, with no evidence, the son was free and lived in another country.
This story is a perfect example of why permissive parenting is a style that can harm your kids later when they grow up.
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