Why do kids lie? This is one of the most common problems that new or experienced parents face, especially nowadays.
Depending on culture, some parents start punishing their lying child, some ignore it, and some start having a mature conversation to urge and encourage their kid to tell the truth.
In this blog post, we are going to discuss the following:
When do kids start lying?
Lying is considered an acquired trait; kids start learning about lying from the surrounding environment around 3 years old, like from one of their parents or a relative who tells a white lie as a joke or to avoid an awkward situation.
So, parents should avoid telling lies as much as possible in front of their kids.
Even if kids have witnessed that attitude accidentally, the parents should apologize and show regret to the kids.
A responsible parent should teach the children that lying is a bad attitude that will lead to unwanted consequences and will give the kid an bad reputation among friends and family.
Why do children lie? With examples
New parents make common mistakes while raising their kids because they do not have enough experience, and one of the most common mistakes is seeking perfection.
Raising a kid to be perfect is a normal goal, so new parents can be strict and punish to prevent their kids from telling lies.
It is like Newton’s Third Law: Action and Reaction. “Every action must have a reaction.” So children will lie to escape punishment.
Other examples and reasons for a kid to lie:
- A child lies to show off in front of school friends, like possessing an expensive mobile phone or having a good family car.
- When parents prevent their kids from eating deserts or junk foods, the kids might lie to cover up eating unhealthy food.
- Children might lie to prove that they are smart, funny and can convince anyone with their lies.
A real example from my life:
In the 6th grade, I had a friend who did not have a computer because his parents could not afford one.
When other friends talked about computer games and how to play them, he claimed that he has all these games and likes them too.
I knew he was lying because he was my neighbor at the same time, and I visited his home several times and saw no computer.
The moral of this story is:
It is essential to make kids live a social life that suits their parents so they do not learn to lie to keep up with other friends.
You should know that this situation is temporary for your kid and cannot last forever because your kid will grow up and will have to deal with people from different cultures and higher social lives.
So, reading about different parenting styles will help you learn more about parenting and understand “ why do children lie according to the parenting style you follow.”
Understanding kids nature
We should all know that understanding our kids and noticing their actions is one of the main reasons to know why they lie.
A kid might have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
This disorder forces children to talk and say things without thinking about or considering the consequences of their actions.
In this case, you should visit a specialist for proper treatment. After that, as a parent, you should teach your kid to make pauses during conversations to give an honest reply.
A parent should notice any change in the kid’s behavior, like having anxiety or depression, because there might be someone bullying the kid.
In that case, the kid will start lying about being fine and will hide the true reason behind her actions.
So, solving bullying problems, like reporting the incident to the school’s principal, will help your kid recover faster from anxiety and depression and thus stop telling lies.
Don’t punish a toddler
A toddler does not realize the meaning of lying or distinguish between fiction and reality.
Toddlers can go to the kitchen and play with cooking pots or spill anything on the floor if they are not supervised. They can use lipstick to draw on the wall or on a mirror.
As a result, toddlers will deny anything if they notice a grim face on their parents and will start lying.
Instead, a parent should not directly ask a toddler for her actions but should ask for her help to clean up the mess without blaming because keeping the house clean is good for maintaining a healthy environment.
Parents should also hide any object that a kid can use to play with to avoid such situations.
So, parents should not punish toddlers until they realize the difference between fiction and reality; otherwise, they will cause them childhood trauma.
To help toddlers understand lying, parents can buy short stories with good morals and read them to the kid before bedtime. Because it is the parent’s responsibility to teach kids not to lie with simple words and to give rewards for telling the truth.
How do you discipline a kid?
As mentioned above, parents should not punish a toddler; instead, debating with some sense will move things in the right direction.
If a kid realizes that lying is not good and insists on it, then parents should consider disciplining the kid.
A good discipline is to prevent kids from watching TV, playing with the computer, eating their favorite candy, etc.
Parents should not be harsh or shout at the kid because that may lead to other consequences like harming the kid’s self-confidence or dignity.
Regarding older kids, parents can consider other techniques if their kids lie, like being upset with them or making mature conversations about lying that show the virtues of telling the truth, like strengthening their personalities in the long run.
Encouraging kids to tell the truth
Parents should reward their kids when they show good manners and teach them that telling the truth will help them win the love of people and respect.
Parents should also encourage their kids to tell the truth and should connect this trait to other relatives they love.
Like saying, “Your aunt has a strong personality, and strong ones do not lie. “
Kids should also learn the pros and cons of several habits like saying, “If you eat a lot of candy, then you will gain weight and have health issues.”
So, convincing kids with our mature point of view is much more important than strict orders like not eating candies.
Kids should also know that telling lies will affect their friendships, and that could lead to losing a dear friend.
What about white lies?
Adults tell white lies when asked for a personal opinion about non-harmful things like new clothes.
So, teaching children about white lies is only essential in awkward situations when asked about their opinions because parents should not raise rude children.
Parents should ensure their kids can distinguish between white lies and normal lies because some kids will justify their lying by saying: ” It was a white lie. “
In conclusion
In this blog post, we have learned the following:
- Children can learn to tell lies at an early age.
- Kids will lie if they are afraid of their parents.
- Understanding how kids think will help parents avoid serious situations.
- Punishment won’t be effective in the long run.
- Telling the truth will give kids a strong personality.
- Telling white lies is okay to avoid awkward social situations.
Now, it is your turn to share your tips about “why do kids lie ?” by contacting us.