Uninvolved parenting is a style distinguished by low responsiveness and low to no demands at all. Uninvolved parents do not support their children with emotional or basic needs; in this style, children get little to no guidance or discipline. Also, uninvolved parents leave their kids to make their own choices and determine their fate.
Keep in mind that uninvolved parenting is the same as Neglectful parenting.
This parenting style was founded by the developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind.
Characteristics of uninvolved parenting:
As we mentioned earlier, uninvolved parents have low responsiveness and low demandingness, which puts them in last place among other parenting styles.
Neglectful parenting examples include:
• Uninvolved parents do not support their children in any decision.
• Parents in this style do not care about setting rules or boundaries for their kids.
• Neglectful Parents do not show enough interest or feelings toward their kids.
• Neglectful Parents do not spend time with kids and tend to be distant and cold to them.
• Uninvolved parents do not seem to care about their kids’ grades in school.
Why does neglectful parenting style exist?
This parenting style exists for many reasons, like the following:
A young man was raised by uninvolved parents, and he didn’t get enough support or warmth, so when this very young man gets older, he will get married and have kids. Later, his unconscious mind will force him to follow the same style and pattern as his parents did, and he will treat his kids the same way his parents treated him, so the tragedy goes on and on.
Another example of neglectful parenting is a young couple who has no real experience in life like being a responsible father or mother, or they follow pinky dreams like in movies and think the world is a good and healthy place to live and ignore reality.
When this very couple has a child, they have no idea how to take care of their kid and face tons of challenges because they are not ready and will eventually fail in this task.
Note that it’s not limited to immature couples but to any couple who doesn’t care enough about anything but themselves.
Also note that when a parent works hard and has a lot of life details, she will have no time or energy to care for her children.
Effects of neglectful parenting.
The uninvolved parenting style has many cons, like:
- Kids will suffer from anxiety and depression as there is no emotional support.
- Kids will lack the self-confidence to develop their social skills for interacting with others.
- Neglectful parents do not protect their kids, so their kids are vulnerable to bullying,which leads to childhood trauma.
- Kids will achieve low academic results because they do not care about studying.
- As these kids grow up without enough emotional support, they may have difficulties showing interest in or love for their life partners in the future.
My father was an uninvolved parent, and I suffered from it.
My father followed an uninvolved parenting style approach for a short period of my life. He was a hard worker, and every morning we just said good morning to each other.
When he gets back home late after a long day at work, he eats and sleeps until the end of the day. On weekends, we were supposed to have fun and spend time as a whole family, but instead, he sleeps all day and refuses to have some fun with us.
As I grew older and saw the dark side of this neglectful parenting style, I promised myself not to follow his steps with my future son or daughter because, luckily, my mind was conscious enough to realize the effects of this style on kids.
What should you do if you or your life partner are following an uninvolved parenting style?
First, let me congratulate you because you started to realize there is an error in this parenting style and because you are searching the internet for a solution, which means you are eligible for change.
The first thing to do when facing a problem is to admit it. neglectful parenting generates bad personality traits in your kids, and these traits might last forever if you don’t respond positively to their needs.
So, following the coming steps will erase the unwanted effects of an uninvolved parenting style:
- Consult and join parenting communities; read books, articles, and visit websites about parenting to learn effective methods and approaches to a good parenting style that suits you.
- Go to therapy: It’s not a shame to visit a therapist and take advice to develop skills that will help you later form a strong bond with your kids.
- Be there when they need you. A good way to build a good relationship with your kids is to get involved in their lives by spending a day together, for example, watching a movie or even accompanying them to their training session. Sharing your time with your kids is a good way to remove any unwanted effects of the uninvolved parenting style you or your partner followed for some time.
- Try to create time for your kids as much as possible, even a simple phone call during the day, so they realize they have a loving parent like you.
Comparison between different parenting styles
If this is your first time learning about parenting styles, then you need to know that Baumrind has also identified other parenting styles like:
It is the style in which your child expects a high level of responsiveness and demands, and it also depends on persuasion and reasoning with your child.
This parenting style is known for being strict, with high expectations for your child and little to no responsiveness; you give directives and demand complete obedience from your child.
It’s a parenting approach in which you stop being a parent and instead become a friend to your children. You let them do whatever they want whenever they want, and as they get older, you might possibly lose control over them, but you always support, love, and meet their needs.
There are other sub-types of parenting styles, like:
• Tiger parenting:
Parents will raise their children with consideration, but they will never consult their children before making any decisions on their behalf.
• Helicopter parenting:
In this approach, parents hover over their children’s heads like helicopters to shield them from negative experiences without allowing them to solve their problems.
• Free-range parenting:
Parenting with a free-range approach means allowing your children the freedom to try new things and develop their independence. This parenting approach resembles neglectful parenting, but free-range parents will take their children’s safety into account, unlike neglectful parents.
In conclusion
Being a good parent requires a lot of time and effort. Parenting consumes energy, and it requires giving your child unconditioned love and support. Be a good parent and make it an ultimate goal in your life because, when you get old, you will need the love and care of your child.