Written by: Barbra Smith / Last updated: July 3, 2024
Many new parents unconsciously use positive and/or negative punishment without realizing their differences.
Punishments are disciplinary techniques for children, and they are reactions when they do something wrong to make them decrease their unwanted behavior.
Parents should not exaggerate their punishment, or they will give their child a childhood trauma. They should not ignore punishing the child, or they will raise a spoiled child. To reach this balance, we recommend using an authoritative parenting style.
In this blog post, we will briefly discuss the following:
What is negative punishment?
Simply put, it is a technique to stop children from doing bad behavior by taking away something they love.
Parents use this technique when their children refuse or break the rules.
When parents use this approach, children learn to relate the punishment to their negative behavior, so they learn to stop their bad behavior.
The difference between positive punishment and negative punishment
B. F. Skinner, the American psychologist, developed these two principles because he believed that if the consequences of a wrong action are bad, like a suitable punishment, then the child will unlikely repeat the negative behavior.
The main difference between the two types of punishments is that in positive punishment, parents add a consequence after the bad behavior, like assigning more chores to the children.
The negative punishment is focused on removing a stimulus following the bad behavior.
Negative punishment examples
Some of the common examples we may find in our daily lives with children are:
Time-out:
In this negative punishment, parents isolate the child from the negative behavior for a couple of minutes, and this type of punishment is recommended between the ages of two and eight.
Removal of toys:
If your kids are fighting over some toy, then it is better to remove and hide that toy from them until they respect each other.
No TVs, phones, or desserts:
When the kids refuse to do a simple chore like tidying the toys after playing with them, you should not allow them to entertain themselves with the things they like until they remove the toys.
Ignoring tantrums:
Ignoring the screaming and crying is an effective way to teach them that this way of expressing themselves is not going to work with you.
Note that you should not stick to one type of punishment and repeat it because kids can get used to this type and will not care if they are punished, so you lose this privilege.
Pros and cons
Pros of negative punishment
- It teaches consequences, as children will learn that their bad behavior will lead to a consequence from their parents, which makes them think before making mistakes.
- This punishment can help decrease bad behavior immediately when the child does something wrong by removing the stimulus.
- Many parents prefer this punishment because it does not include physical punishment, so it does not harm the child.
Cons of negative punishment
- Children should be punished instantly to relate the punishment to their bad behavior; if the parent decides to punish them later, then they won’t understand the purpose of the punishment.
- Kids may suffer emotional impacts if the punishment is severe, like frustration, sadness, and not being loved by their parents.
- Negative punishment only stops the children from bad behavior but doesn’t help them understand why they were punished. Punishment should be followed by a life lesson from the parents so the kids can learn right from wrong.
When should I abandon negative punishment?
It is not rational to punish children every time they make mistakes because they are growing up and mistakes help them explore the world around them.
If the children are not doing something dangerous, then leave them alone while keeping an eye on them because punishing them for every mistake will make them strict, while forgiving them will teach them to be merciful.
Parenting and raising children are not a chemical equation; being flexible and making wise decisions will have a much more positive impact on raising your kids.
When should you use negative punishment?
You should use negative punishment in the following situations:
Stopping a tantrum
If your children throw a temper tantrum for any reason, then it is more appropriate to ignore the tantrum, and they will stop.
Giving them a positive punishment will give them a reason to cry and shout even more until you give in to their needs.
If it has more effect on the kids
As a parent, you should try positive and negative punishments on the kids to know which type has more effect on regulating their behavior.
If the negative one has proved more useful, then go for it.
In public
This punishment is a better option to be used in public places, like ignoring the kids’ tantrums or their infinite demands more than scolding or shouting, because kids can get embarrassed, and that is not recommended for their mental health.